yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
