Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
