I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
