dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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