Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
