Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
