I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Congratulations! We have a period
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
