Your tits are I can't wait for
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
