Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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