dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
