After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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