I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Randomize
