dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
