They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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