Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
