Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
