his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
