I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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