So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
