so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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