If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
