There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
