You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
