I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
