Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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