if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
