i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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