i wish there were pregnant emoticons
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
