it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
