If i come over, it means nothing
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
