Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
