It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
