well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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