Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
