I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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