He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
