dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
