That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
