So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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