she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
