Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize