do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We are all done wearing pants today
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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