She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
