I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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