It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
