i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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