Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
