I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
