I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
