You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
