it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
