He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Even my vagina gasped.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
