Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize