I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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