If i come over, it means nothing
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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