Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
