I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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