i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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