Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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