Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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