Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
