Your dad touched me again.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
