the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
