there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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