im gay
i know
yea but for you.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I would fuck him just for his dog
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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