Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
