Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
