What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I see more hoeing in ur future
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