Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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