I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
