Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize