we have pet lesbian snakes
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
