hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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